there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
