I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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