my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You don't make any sense
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