Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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