So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize