My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
