at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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