I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
