Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
