bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
