I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
