Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
