I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
