carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
