Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
