weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
