idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
