Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
