We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
