So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
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