I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
