So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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