hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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