So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
