Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
