That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
