Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We left the knife in your bed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
