I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
its not stalking. its research.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
