i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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