No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
