I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
