He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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