the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
