Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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