they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
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The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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