On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
