Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
