He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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