bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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