i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
