Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
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I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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