I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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