oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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