and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
