Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
