You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
