On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
