this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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