R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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