If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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