You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
