Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
