I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
