i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
