the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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