Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

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  (443): guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way http://tfl.nu/u63n
  Replies (5) Good night (702) Bad night (2581)
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  (818): View more from California

  I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

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  (818): I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore. http://tfl.nu/ogz1
  Replies (19) Good night (1275) Bad night (3828)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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  (701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk
  Replies (63) Good night (22070) Bad night (1490)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.

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  (770): His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution. http://tfl.nu/sbqf
  Replies (21) Good night (6203) Bad night (1088)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it

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  (778): You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it http://tfl.nu/gf74
  Replies (7) Good night (4265) Bad night (1523)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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  (267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn
  Replies (13) Good night (4508) Bad night (963)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal

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  (219): I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal http://tfl.nu/2jng
  Replies (5) Good night (2004) Bad night (839)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.

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  (617): these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean. http://tfl.nu/z2n6
  Replies (13) Good night (2360) Bad night (1493)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function

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  (201): I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function http://tfl.nu/ad1f
  Replies (9) Good night (2686) Bad night (1175)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"

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  (781): I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again" http://tfl.nu/7as1
  Replies (4) Good night (4226) Bad night (1043)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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  (215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34
  Replies (5) Good night (1282) Bad night (486)
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  (209): View more from California

  Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?

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  (209): Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2? http://tfl.nu/78yk
  Replies (3) Good night (1202) Bad night (640)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."

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  (860): When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed." http://tfl.nu/60fs
  Replies (0) Good night (683) Bad night (349)
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  (714): View more from California

  I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.

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  (714): I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5. http://tfl.nu/iwbe
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (809)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're the common denominator of my blackouts.

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  (202): You're the common denominator of my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/n8nz
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (322)

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