Texts From Last Night

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  (786): View more from Florida

  my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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  (786): my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao http://tfl.nu/rabe
  Replies (38) Good night (1478) Bad night (7131)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  (252): U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry http://tfl.nu/sko0
  Replies (41) Good night (3970) Bad night (1565)
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  (916): View more from California

  Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

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  (916): Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius. http://tfl.nu/nzur
  Replies (26) Good night (6771) Bad night (1065)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.

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  (912): I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars. http://tfl.nu/3pqt
  Replies (2) Good night (1312) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

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  (608): We should search craigslist for porches to sublet. http://tfl.nu/mpxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1763) Bad night (771)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

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  (508): Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned http://tfl.nu/z9a2
  Replies (4) Good night (854) Bad night (1854)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

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  (310): I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle http://tfl.nu/8b8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1344) Bad night (578)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.

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  (989): I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night. http://tfl.nu/dsb1
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message

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  (216): Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message http://tfl.nu/1r6g
  Replies (5) Good night (515) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG

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  (812): FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG http://tfl.nu/wer1
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club

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  (+44): Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club http://tfl.nu/ri4h
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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  (618): Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote http://tfl.nu/plk1
  Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding

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  (563): What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me (1-563): You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding http://tfl.nu/u1iy
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (345)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.

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  (250): He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now. http://tfl.nu/hi6o
  Replies (11) Good night (552) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.

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  (804): We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon. http://tfl.nu/tgyh
  Replies (2) Good night (961) Bad night (294)

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