Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary