soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.