Texts From Last Night

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  (133): View more from

  YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby

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  (133): YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby http://tfl.nu/m0vf
  Replies (6) Good night (1458) Bad night (416)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about

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  (678): Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about http://tfl.nu/m34e
  Replies (32) Good night (7704) Bad night (1021)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!

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  (276): So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job! http://tfl.nu/fkyk
  Replies (11) Good night (3771) Bad night (841)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds

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  (973): And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds http://tfl.nu/07d1
  Replies (7) Good night (871) Bad night (4357)
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  (368): View more from

  you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

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  (368): you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/nfr6
  Replies (22) Good night (6856) Bad night (1302)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're making bets on your personal life

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  (603): we're making bets on your personal life http://tfl.nu/b50k
  Replies (14) Good night (4022) Bad night (1105)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.

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  (224): I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week. http://tfl.nu/ba7c
  Replies (13) Good night (3286) Bad night (1866)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer

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  (917): im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer http://tfl.nu/s04i
  Replies (8) Good night (3016) Bad night (1062)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.

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  (732): You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire. http://tfl.nu/i4tp
  Replies (7) Good night (1526) Bad night (628)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom

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  (509): Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom http://tfl.nu/fom9
  Replies (18) Good night (3275) Bad night (843)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.

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  (903): Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/q5rg
  Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (448)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.

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  (206): I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die. http://tfl.nu/n2ik
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (373)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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  (917): When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork http://tfl.nu/bkbb
  Replies (12) Good night (682) Bad night (464)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.

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  (302): Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE. http://tfl.nu/pskj
  Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (1277)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?

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  (250): anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you. (1-250): ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine? http://tfl.nu/1018
  Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (564)

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