Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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  (443): There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now. http://tfl.nu/lz21
  Replies (37) Good night (836) Bad night (2110)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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  (215): how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon? http://tfl.nu/98up
  Replies (20) Good night (6697) Bad night (582)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens

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  (505): No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens http://tfl.nu/a8dq
  Replies (4) Good night (2074) Bad night (800)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.

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  (515): just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be. http://tfl.nu/p5e9
  Replies (37) Good night (1121) Bad night (5019)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation

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  (303): I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation http://tfl.nu/w0jl
  Replies (9) Good night (6804) Bad night (1094)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?

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  (617): did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant? http://tfl.nu/svwz
  Replies (8) Good night (1961) Bad night (957)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.

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  (815): I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk. http://tfl.nu/8nn3
  Replies (14) Good night (3400) Bad night (875)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.

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  (908): i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend. http://tfl.nu/myz5
  Replies (7) Good night (3313) Bad night (669)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5

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  (+44): i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5 http://tfl.nu/ljio
  Replies (14) Good night (2798) Bad night (682)
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  (845): View more from New York

  On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

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  (845): On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though. http://tfl.nu/8a05
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (758)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried

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  (540): Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried http://tfl.nu/qg5l
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (376)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.

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  (702): I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up. http://tfl.nu/wodb
  Replies (2) Good night (987) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?

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  (305): He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire. (1-305): Are you fucking a guy or a condo building? http://tfl.nu/f6au
  Replies (4) Good night (1451) Bad night (246)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'

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  (902): I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me' http://tfl.nu/k715
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding

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  (916): I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding http://tfl.nu/cejl
  Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (224)

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