it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.