I just made out with a guy for $7.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
