dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
