Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
