I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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