In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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