His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
