im drinking this country out of the recession.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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